The Future

Hmm. Speaking of "The Future", I'm heading to Albany, NY on Sunday for tattoo school. "The Future" is one of my favorite Leonard Cohen albums. Speaking of, Mike and I have not been able to find a single one of our Leonard Cohen cd's and I have been JONESING for WEEKS now to hear him. Argh!

I've got all sorts of emotions going on. Finally I was able to spill some of it out to Mike over the last 2 nights. I'm scared that I will SUCK as a tattooist. I'll suck so bad I'll get a bad reputation. People will point and say "there goes the girl who can't ink a straight line" or "that's Geri, she totally screwed up my friend's tattoo". I'm also afraid that my creative spark is a farce, that I won't ever get it back. I'm afraid that I have whatever issue it is my step dad (the artist, musician) has- that is, he's been a reproductionist with his art; very few originals. But what he does paint is really fantastic. I'm afraid that going to get formal training will make me an outcast and no shop in town will want me. That's not too bad I suppose; in that I mean I can overcome that it will just take time, persistance, and maybe relocation. What would be super ideal is I own my own shop. I'd bring in the best artists I could get, and I'd learn from them. I'd have a very chill shop, no stupid loud music. I'd raise the bar for tattoo shop environment. I'd challange the norm.

But anyway.

Yeah, to sit and dream is one thing. To do the work to make it all happen is another and I'm just a-scared that I will fall on my face time after time after time and will suck as a tattooist. I should probably get a helmet. Or like that face mask hockey goalies wear.

And what's up with this PMS cramp thing I'm suffering? Well this is TMI for most of you. Aunt Flo hung out twice in one month, super cramps and all. And now just a few days after her last unwelcomed visit I have these horrid PMSy cramps. ARRGH!

We have a meeting suddenly here at work at 11am today. It's MANDATORY. I hope I don't get laid off. But then again that'd force me to catapult my life changes. So it would not suck completely, just a whole lot.

Work sucks today I'm sooooo not into it. I need more coffee. I'm switching coffee for alcohol. Not giving up the drink completely, I'm not into radical crap like that. But I am cutting waaay back and I am really liking the difference A LOT so far. :) But yeah. need coffee. See ya.